A bit too much

The past 2 weeks were very eventful. Everything was just a bit ...too much

Work- Too much stress
very busy at work week. I felt kinda frustrated lately.
I am trying to do my best everyday, a small appreciation is not demanding , right ?
The most supportive manager is leaving soon, honestly, I lost the motivation to work here already.

Personal- Too much to think, or thinking too much?
I was pretty sure what I needed until I saw you again. I know we are not going to work out, and I never thought about getting back together again since last Sept. but why am I still care about things you said or things you have done for me? Too much game involved. I always think " why can we just be honest to each other or honest to myself? " but i know, sometimes being too honest there is also a chance of getting hurt too.

Fun - Too much fun
Most of my friends are still in college and last week, they were having their spring break. Get the chance to see everyone, it was nice. You guys also proved me I am still not that old. I worked 8 hours, got out of work at 11:30pm..and still managed to go clubbing with you guys...3 times within a week. Plus, stayed up until 5am after work and drove one of my friends to the airport....
then going to Amherst ...totally black out , and throw up in my own car. It was fun and happy to see all my friends , real friends =)

Weeeeeeeeee

urgh, my sleeping schedule is all over the place. One night, I only had a 3 hours of sleep, the next day was 11 hours...dreams were all weird/ intense. god , leave me alone, I just need a good night sleep please.

In the past few days, I kept imagining myself working in Hong Kong. I am still not sure if I am ready to go back yet tho...I still have a lot of things planning to do here... let me put down all the goals for this year!

-Know more about this place ( Boston at least, try everything )

-Speak perfect English

-Try to call the guest by their last name ( yea..its a weird one..but it's kinda hard for me as an Asian pronounce those last names..)

-Get my job done perfectly EVERYDAY

-People reading ( another weird one...but believe it or not, if you pay more attention to everything around you, work could be done more efficiently/ perfectly)

um..that's all for now, but I am sure I will put more down later !
bye now !

It should not be whatever this time

Its February already !! I can't wait the coming of this summer! Its gonna be the first summer I spend in Boston ! really ...because I was in HK every summer and in New york last year. I have a list of places I wanna go and eat =) I try to explore more about this place before I go back to Hong Kong for good

I have been having nightmares in the past 2 weeks, hate it a lot. I just could not sleep well, not sure about the weather or being too stress...miss family a lot lately, some personal stuff stress from work...hopefully, everything gets better after Chinese new year !

I has a mixed feeling of frustration and confusion recently. I learned my lesson, and I figured how frustrating it would be for ignoring the one you are close to while you are having fun at another place. Now, I am the one who is being ignored ...That's what people call what comes around goes around.

However, I am trying to work things out this time. It's just a simple message. Am I asking too much? I cannot even answer myself. What is too little, what is too much? Someone ever said to me that I am needy, this still bothers me. I am actually sick of it. I have tried my best already, and it will only work when both are willing to

but ...clubbing on this Saturday did make me feel better. Not that I was upset so I went clubbing, but just I could see my dearest friends! Thanks for taking care of me! haha, thats the first time u guys needed to look after me.
It was totally not fun at all the next day i had to work at 7am ....=P

Life without thinking too much ?

I was trying to play around w/ the color in this blog, failed .The colors of this blog just doesn't look right to me. Speaking of aestheticism, I have not picked up my drawing pen for ages, no single sketch has been done ! it's a shame that I don't do art anymore. I do not have time to do that ..yea right, that's just an excuse. Try to work on photography, I like it. but not as much as painting. I miss the old days at school doing art w/ my friends together.

I have the problem of sleeping for like 3 months already..since i started this job. I have no problem falling asleep, but just keep waking up early..it happened to me a lot at the last 2 semesters in my senior year. It was all about stress.

but...what am I stressing about now? I can fall asleep in 2 seconds because I am exhausted at work. but the quality of my sleep is absolutely not good at all. My dreams are all about things I have done during the day or things I am going to do.
I try not to push myself too much, I am taking my time to figure what I need in life. unfortunately, I guess my anxieties/worries deep inside unconsciously reflect onto my body function.


Last night, I had an interesting conversation w/ my friend about " drunk texting/ talking". we always heard " people tell the truth when they are drunk". Really?
I mean ...yes, but partly true. we tend to have guts after a few cups of drinks and tend to do/say something that we normally don't do/ dare to do ( or debating about doing it or not) in real life.
ok...so since you are not even sure what you should say/do that thing in real life, why it can be considered as the truth? intoxication just makes someone think" i will say it anyways, whatever"
well, I have no idea why I am talking such a random topic here ...but I just feel like ....human being is such a complicated creature ...no matter that human being is sober/ drunk =.=


Life is fun, but sometimes it's tiring to deal w/ all the people. I miss lying on the sand, listening to the wave under the sun, peacefully.
I just need a hug, a supportive hug

Hidden mind

It's been so long since my last update!

Talked to 3 different people recently,
they are facing different kind of troubles
actually those troubles are all about one thing but they just appear in different ways


is it wise to be honest, is it wise to be straight forward?
everyone has their own agenda,
we tend to act/ talk differently to manipulate a situation to get something we want.
The thing we want can be something materiality like money, a gift, or even a person. Other wants maybe to gain a trust from someone, or just simply a compliment.
Isn't scary? this means we are hiding some of our real thoughts in order to get something from someone.

Is it really hard to find someone who do appreciate of who you are? being yourself comfortably w/o worrying about being judged?

But i do believe if you are true to a someone, in return, he/she will be true to you too, not guarantee but at least most of time, it works.

One Month + 15 days

I am not whining this time, it is just some of my thoughts in the past few days

So, I have been working (my real job) for a month and 15 days. Seriously, I think the time passes by really slow. Not that I am unhappy, but I just feel like it is a bit pointless. I mean ...life is kinda pointless now.

Honestly, I have learned a lot, really a lot. I am sure it will payoff someday. but ...it's a bit tiring to see all the money I earn, has to go to my rent, and later, my car ....basically, working is never ending, and it has become a routine that I dont see my passion anymore but just to support my living

is life suppose to be like that? I mean, everyone has a "time-line".
like, from age 3 to 20s -> college; 20s to 30s -> working+ getting married, buying houses ...
People spend their whole life working and just to pay their house, car, clothes, I am not saying is not worth it, but is life only all about this?

I am now 23. if i live until 70, 23 is almost 1/4 of whole life
What is investment? What is worthwhile to invest in our life , our short life?

Getting back on track?

My aunt from hk called me last night. She will come here on Oct for 7 days, then my cousin will come here for his business trip for 3 days. So excited! Just remember a chinese proverb saying:" 朋自遠方來 ,不亦樂乎" It is always please to see someone you are close to.

Of course, when my aunt called me, I was sure she would also ask" Do you really like the US??? Why are you still there? You are a girl all by yourself there, spending your own money on rent and food.....**** ....*** "
I know I wont listen to her, but it frustrated me a little bit coz I do care a lot about what my family and relative say.
After the phone call, I was laying on my bed and staring at my pillow for 15 mins....haha
I suddenly have this thought, " If I am going back to hk next year. I will work there for 2 years then I will try to find a job in singapore." Of course, if I do well in hk, I dont think I will move. But this thought really give me some sources of energy to keep going on, haha
I am sure, if I have decided something, I will not give up. So, my plan of working at singapore may become true if my situation at that time allow me to! LOL
ok, kinda a big thought, but ...at least I have this thought, right?


Also, congratulation to pk law, I am so proud of you. I know you are stressed because seems like no one is supporting your plan. but u made it at the end! at the meantime, we are not sure if we are on the right path, but we both know that if we dont give it a try, we never know!
Thanks my friends in hk, I am really thankful I have friends like u guys.