I was trying to play around w/ the color in this blog, failed .The colors of this blog just doesn't look right to me. Speaking of aestheticism, I have not picked up my drawing pen for ages, no single sketch has been done ! it's a shame that I don't do art anymore. I do not have time to do that ..yea right, that's just an excuse. Try to work on photography, I like it. but not as much as painting. I miss the old days at school doing art w/ my friends together.
I have the problem of sleeping for like 3 months already..since i started this job. I have no problem falling asleep, but just keep waking up early..it happened to me a lot at the last 2 semesters in my senior year. It was all about stress.
but...what am I stressing about now? I can fall asleep in 2 seconds because I am exhausted at work. but the quality of my sleep is absolutely not good at all. My dreams are all about things I have done during the day or things I am going to do.
I try not to push myself too much, I am taking my time to figure what I need in life. unfortunately, I guess my anxieties/worries deep inside unconsciously reflect onto my body function.
Last night, I had an interesting conversation w/ my friend about " drunk texting/ talking". we always heard " people tell the truth when they are drunk". Really?
I mean ...yes, but partly true. we tend to have guts after a few cups of drinks and tend to do/say something that we normally don't do/ dare to do ( or debating about doing it or not) in real life.
ok...so since you are not even sure what you should say/do that thing in real life, why it can be considered as the truth? intoxication just makes someone think" i will say it anyways, whatever"
well, I have no idea why I am talking such a random topic here ...but I just feel like ....human being is such a complicated creature ...no matter that human being is sober/ drunk =.=
Life is fun, but sometimes it's tiring to deal w/ all the people. I miss lying on the sand, listening to the wave under the sun, peacefully.
I just need a hug, a supportive hug
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Hidden mind
It's been so long since my last update!
Talked to 3 different people recently,
they are facing different kind of troubles
actually those troubles are all about one thing but they just appear in different ways
is it wise to be honest, is it wise to be straight forward?
everyone has their own agenda,
we tend to act/ talk differently to manipulate a situation to get something we want.
The thing we want can be something materiality like money, a gift, or even a person. Other wants maybe to gain a trust from someone, or just simply a compliment.
Isn't scary? this means we are hiding some of our real thoughts in order to get something from someone.
Is it really hard to find someone who do appreciate of who you are? being yourself comfortably w/o worrying about being judged?
But i do believe if you are true to a someone, in return, he/she will be true to you too, not guarantee but at least most of time, it works.
Talked to 3 different people recently,
they are facing different kind of troubles
actually those troubles are all about one thing but they just appear in different ways
is it wise to be honest, is it wise to be straight forward?
everyone has their own agenda,
we tend to act/ talk differently to manipulate a situation to get something we want.
The thing we want can be something materiality like money, a gift, or even a person. Other wants maybe to gain a trust from someone, or just simply a compliment.
Isn't scary? this means we are hiding some of our real thoughts in order to get something from someone.
Is it really hard to find someone who do appreciate of who you are? being yourself comfortably w/o worrying about being judged?
But i do believe if you are true to a someone, in return, he/she will be true to you too, not guarantee but at least most of time, it works.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
One Month + 15 days
I am not whining this time, it is just some of my thoughts in the past few days
So, I have been working (my real job) for a month and 15 days. Seriously, I think the time passes by really slow. Not that I am unhappy, but I just feel like it is a bit pointless. I mean ...life is kinda pointless now.
Honestly, I have learned a lot, really a lot. I am sure it will payoff someday. but ...it's a bit tiring to see all the money I earn, has to go to my rent, and later, my car ....basically, working is never ending, and it has become a routine that I dont see my passion anymore but just to support my living
is life suppose to be like that? I mean, everyone has a "time-line".
like, from age 3 to 20s -> college; 20s to 30s -> working+ getting married, buying houses ...
People spend their whole life working and just to pay their house, car, clothes, I am not saying is not worth it, but is life only all about this?
I am now 23. if i live until 70, 23 is almost 1/4 of whole life
What is investment? What is worthwhile to invest in our life , our short life?
So, I have been working (my real job) for a month and 15 days. Seriously, I think the time passes by really slow. Not that I am unhappy, but I just feel like it is a bit pointless. I mean ...life is kinda pointless now.
Honestly, I have learned a lot, really a lot. I am sure it will payoff someday. but ...it's a bit tiring to see all the money I earn, has to go to my rent, and later, my car ....basically, working is never ending, and it has become a routine that I dont see my passion anymore but just to support my living
is life suppose to be like that? I mean, everyone has a "time-line".
like, from age 3 to 20s -> college; 20s to 30s -> working+ getting married, buying houses ...
People spend their whole life working and just to pay their house, car, clothes, I am not saying is not worth it, but is life only all about this?
I am now 23. if i live until 70, 23 is almost 1/4 of whole life
What is investment? What is worthwhile to invest in our life , our short life?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Getting back on track?
My aunt from hk called me last night. She will come here on Oct for 7 days, then my cousin will come here for his business trip for 3 days. So excited! Just remember a chinese proverb saying:" 朋自遠方來 ,不亦樂乎" It is always please to see someone you are close to.
Of course, when my aunt called me, I was sure she would also ask" Do you really like the US??? Why are you still there? You are a girl all by yourself there, spending your own money on rent and food.....**** ....*** "
I know I wont listen to her, but it frustrated me a little bit coz I do care a lot about what my family and relative say.
After the phone call, I was laying on my bed and staring at my pillow for 15 mins....haha
I suddenly have this thought, " If I am going back to hk next year. I will work there for 2 years then I will try to find a job in singapore." Of course, if I do well in hk, I dont think I will move. But this thought really give me some sources of energy to keep going on, haha
I am sure, if I have decided something, I will not give up. So, my plan of working at singapore may become true if my situation at that time allow me to! LOL
ok, kinda a big thought, but ...at least I have this thought, right?
Also, congratulation to pk law, I am so proud of you. I know you are stressed because seems like no one is supporting your plan. but u made it at the end! at the meantime, we are not sure if we are on the right path, but we both know that if we dont give it a try, we never know!
Thanks my friends in hk, I am really thankful I have friends like u guys.
Of course, when my aunt called me, I was sure she would also ask" Do you really like the US??? Why are you still there? You are a girl all by yourself there, spending your own money on rent and food.....**** ....*** "
I know I wont listen to her, but it frustrated me a little bit coz I do care a lot about what my family and relative say.
After the phone call, I was laying on my bed and staring at my pillow for 15 mins....haha
I suddenly have this thought, " If I am going back to hk next year. I will work there for 2 years then I will try to find a job in singapore." Of course, if I do well in hk, I dont think I will move. But this thought really give me some sources of energy to keep going on, haha
I am sure, if I have decided something, I will not give up. So, my plan of working at singapore may become true if my situation at that time allow me to! LOL
ok, kinda a big thought, but ...at least I have this thought, right?
Also, congratulation to pk law, I am so proud of you. I know you are stressed because seems like no one is supporting your plan. but u made it at the end! at the meantime, we are not sure if we are on the right path, but we both know that if we dont give it a try, we never know!
Thanks my friends in hk, I am really thankful I have friends like u guys.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Welcome to the real world
ok, it is 2:30 am but I am still up typing this post...I am actually exhausted. I definitely need some sleep, but after a long day, I really want to do something I like after work.
I just realized I have been working here for a month already! (my first 3 months working at new york after graduation doesn't really count as working, haha) I love working in general. I am so happy that I am out of school because working make me feel like I am an useful person in this society. Like what my friends and I always joking by saying I am a "society person" (社會人士) now (being sophisticated, sarcastic? haha, no Karly is still Karly)
The first 3 weeks was fun, yet overwhelming; interesting yet exhausting. I love this job because its new every single day, I never get bored and I learn A LOT.
But the past week was a frustrating week. The hotel was full house 3 days straight. Everything went wrong at the same time and every chaos happened, plus I was sick. Everything adding up did stress me out a bit, but people being mean/ rude just bothered me A LOT.
People who know me always say I have a good temper and nice, I never really get mad in front of the others. I am always open-minded and optimistic, even something bad happens, I would see that is a good way to learn. however, this week annoyed me so much that I turned out being upset. I keep telling myself to stay positive. I was so exhausted by the end of the day, I was like " at this point, I don't care anymore. If you keep being a douche, fine"
Well, choosing this field ( hotel ) , I should have known this is part of the job. Plus, I only need to deal those meanies for 5 mins at most, and I would never see them again in my life. Think it this way, some people have to put up with their stupid colleagues everyday, for me , only 5 mins with those rude guest. 5 mins in my whole life? I can handle it. ( haha...yea, am I overly optimistic? =P)
That's what I should learn in this job " try not to let others let you down".
I admit, I did have a thought of giving up, but there is always a reason to continue, right? Life is always interesting and full of surprises. While I was worn out, a guest gave me a box of chocolate from Iceland. There are many nice people out there, don't exaggerate that small group of meanie and let myself down.
Many people said" It's just a job, you can quit anytime". But for me, it's not just a job, it about a commitment. I have committed to this job and I feel bad, and of course irresponsible to JUST LEAVE. I know I will regret because I have not tried long enough.
Speaking of trying. Does this "try" cost a lot? I could have the chance of going back to Hong Kong. The guilt is still in my mind esp. after talking to my family/sis. I feel like I am not doing a great job of being a good daughter and older sister. I really want to look after them financially and psychically. After spending loads of money studying abroad, I want to give something back to the family. Staying here now, I feel helpless.
But yea,there is no going back, it is a simple but really true truth. What I have to do now is to work it out, but not complaining right ?
What can cheer me up now? Thinking of my backpacking trip ! 3:30am , time for bed ?
I just realized I have been working here for a month already! (my first 3 months working at new york after graduation doesn't really count as working, haha) I love working in general. I am so happy that I am out of school because working make me feel like I am an useful person in this society. Like what my friends and I always joking by saying I am a "society person" (社會人士) now (being sophisticated, sarcastic? haha, no Karly is still Karly)
The first 3 weeks was fun, yet overwhelming; interesting yet exhausting. I love this job because its new every single day, I never get bored and I learn A LOT.
But the past week was a frustrating week. The hotel was full house 3 days straight. Everything went wrong at the same time and every chaos happened, plus I was sick. Everything adding up did stress me out a bit, but people being mean/ rude just bothered me A LOT.
People who know me always say I have a good temper and nice, I never really get mad in front of the others. I am always open-minded and optimistic, even something bad happens, I would see that is a good way to learn. however, this week annoyed me so much that I turned out being upset. I keep telling myself to stay positive. I was so exhausted by the end of the day, I was like " at this point, I don't care anymore. If you keep being a douche, fine"
Well, choosing this field ( hotel ) , I should have known this is part of the job. Plus, I only need to deal those meanies for 5 mins at most, and I would never see them again in my life. Think it this way, some people have to put up with their stupid colleagues everyday, for me , only 5 mins with those rude guest. 5 mins in my whole life? I can handle it. ( haha...yea, am I overly optimistic? =P)
That's what I should learn in this job " try not to let others let you down".
I admit, I did have a thought of giving up, but there is always a reason to continue, right? Life is always interesting and full of surprises. While I was worn out, a guest gave me a box of chocolate from Iceland. There are many nice people out there, don't exaggerate that small group of meanie and let myself down.
Many people said" It's just a job, you can quit anytime". But for me, it's not just a job, it about a commitment. I have committed to this job and I feel bad, and of course irresponsible to JUST LEAVE. I know I will regret because I have not tried long enough.
Speaking of trying. Does this "try" cost a lot? I could have the chance of going back to Hong Kong. The guilt is still in my mind esp. after talking to my family/sis. I feel like I am not doing a great job of being a good daughter and older sister. I really want to look after them financially and psychically. After spending loads of money studying abroad, I want to give something back to the family. Staying here now, I feel helpless.
But yea,there is no going back, it is a simple but really true truth. What I have to do now is to work it out, but not complaining right ?
What can cheer me up now? Thinking of my backpacking trip ! 3:30am , time for bed ?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Good luck to everyone
I cant believe I am leaving tomorrow. I had a gloomy mood today coz Nives was leaving today ( but hahaa, she is back now ! hurricane came and flight got delayed ! yay, u can spend your 21 with us . I feel bad for you tho, I know you wanna spend your bday with your mom !
(the grassmere family is haunting u !)
Remember first we came here, we were all like" how can we be here for 3 months ! 3 months!"
now, we are all crying because we are leaving each other
3 months is like a school semester. this "summer semester" is one of my best semesters.
4 years in college, it was fun. But when I was at my 4th year, I felt that "I am done, I am leaving here." I did not cried at my graduation, that could tell something lol
Not only because chaos/ stupid drama happened, what I needed was meeting new people.
I am so happy that I am here, get away from the "tiny" circle in Umass -- which I dont give a shit anymore
Life is always interesting
10+ of us, we happens to be together, working at the same place.
we are from different states, different countries
i m amazed how well all of us could get along.
we may not see each other ever again . Getting back together at the same time is barely possible
But I have learned so much this summer.
I have learned how to enjoy this moment. Present is really a present.
I have learned how to express my love to the people you love,never hide our feelings , both hate and love.
I have learned how to appreciate others' personality, habits, both good and bad
I have learned how to appreciate myself.
4 of us, front office interns.
This combination is the weirdest combination, even 4 of us admitted that.
We were all surprised how quickly and how well we got along.
We experienced and learned so much
Things that are impossible to get wrong, happened to us. I really couldnt tell how much trouble we got into on a daily basis. LOL
Parties, dance, cry and laugh together, blast out music in the car, getting lost, breakfast shopping, car broken down...living in a tiny room shares every intimate things (lol)
craving for meat at the 2nd week because we didnt eat much at the first week...
watched disney channel, hannah montana , suit life on deck, NCIS, CSI
taking care of the jewish
talked about our boss, life before we sleep
"shhh..lets sleep early, so we can make breakfast tomorrow!
luli:wait ...I dont have tomato
Karly: dont worry, I have it
3 of us: yay !! ( shaking bed...lol )
I love us =)
Even peter, my boss saying that this summer, he had the most awesome staff
Everyone i meet here is fun, nice, outgoing and always happy
This is one of my best summers. I am such a lucky girl, every summer, i met great people . Everywhere I go , I have great memories, great friends
once again, family and friends are so important to me
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Just for myself
Xanga was with me for like 5+ years,
lots of memories there, good and bad
but there are too many subscriptions in xanga,
feel like my person feeling or personal life are over-exposed in xanga
try to use blogger, just to write down my thoughts and life for myself !
lots of memories there, good and bad
but there are too many subscriptions in xanga,
feel like my person feeling or personal life are over-exposed in xanga
try to use blogger, just to write down my thoughts and life for myself !
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